Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Have to Share, Bette Midler's Happy Marriage Advice


I wanted to share this because when I saw the write up in People Magazine, I was blown away.  I loved her candor and that a heading was "Being a Mom is my Favorite Role".  We'll how wonderful and her only daughter's name is Sophie.

I have to work hard at being married, we'll at least I think I do so Bette's marriage words were like butter for my soul.  I got it.  I've looked at self help love and relationship books over the years, attended love and marriage seminars in Florida with my husband, and even asked my in laws how they've stayed married for 50 years!  The answers were empathy, finding your Imago! and "that's just what you do!"  My amazing mother in law Sharon keeps it simple and I'll leave it at that.  She is committed through and through.  It's respectable, honest.

My grandparents were old school.  My paternal grandmother was smitten at age 16, married three months later to John Nevin, Senior; they married and stayed married for 56 years until his death of Parkinson's. We miss him and his sweetness.  Here's Bette's brilliant guidance.........

A good marriage isn't for Divas
"The real secret is giving each other a lot of room and not being in each other's faces all the time. And listening.  Listening is very hard.  And compromise. Compromise is the hardest of all.  But sometimes you have to say, It's not worth it.  The fight is not worth it.  You have your way, and maybe next Thursday I'll have mine. And you have to keep supporting each other, and I think that's hard too. Time passes in a flash, and as they say, it's not a rehearsal.  It's best to pick your fights wisely and just meditate. Stay calm. Don't go from zero to 60 in two seconds. Don't diminish each other. Don't try to make each other wrong all the time. The blaming is the worst part.  Honestly, you have to learn not to do that."

By the way, my mother in law's favorite film is Beaches with the talented and beautiful Bette Midler.  Rock it Bette.  Your awesome.