The Perils of Fertility; injections, FET's, and Waiting

I took this photo on Friday when I arrived for my blood work and ultrasound on Day 9 of Lupron.  Does anyone out there know what Lupron is?  An update: I've been taking fertility drugs since May and my body has gone through the ringer.

Definition of Lupron:
Lupron (leuprolide) overstimulates the body's own production of certain hormones, which causes that production to shut down temporarily. Leuprolide reduces the amount of testosterone in men or estrogen in women.

Possible Side Effects While Using This Medicine

Call your doctor right away if you notice any of these side effects:

• Allergic reaction: Itching or hives, swelling in your face or hands, swelling or tingling in your mouth or throat, chest tightness, trouble breathing
• Change in how much or how often you urinate
• Depression or severe moodiness or emotional problems
• Fast, pounding, or uneven heart beat
• Heavy vaginal bleeding
• Seizures
• Unusual or severe bone or back pain

If you notice these less serious side effects, talk with your doctor:

• Headache
• Hot flashes and sweating, warmth or redness in your face, neck, arms, or upper chest
• Loss of interest in sex, sexual problems
• Moodiness
• Pain, itching, burning, bruises, or swelling where the shot was given

If you notice other side effects that you think are caused by this medicine, tell your doctor.
Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088. (Courtesy of drugs.com interesting website by the way)

PMS is awful we all know that but being on Lupron to actually stop the ovulation process could actually be worse!  I started the whole process to have baby #3 in October of 2013 and I've been attending Shady Grove Fertility Center ever since in bursts and waves.  I've kept most of this quiet and to myself which has recently revealed a painful hell that I didn't think existed.  It's called SERIOUS HORMONES.

After telling me in May after starting an FET cycle, that's short for Frozen Embryo Transfer, I was told to stop because they found alarming scar tissue.  As soon as I could my fertility doctor wanted me to have an HSG x ray of my uterus which is an x ray of the whole uterus and it's friends like the ovaries, fallopian tubes.  Those x rays were sent to my doctors at Shady Grove where I then heard nothing.  I then made numerous phone calls to find out what SG's thoughts were on me moving forward with another treatment plan (they call it a protocol).

Meanwhile behind the scenes, my temperament went soaring.  If I saw a baby I naturally gush and hope I can have another but quietly would wonder "is this going to work, I've never done a frozen cycle".  I was also told when I found out about the "ditch" level of scar tissue I had that basically "I should be happy with my two girls and more or less move on."  Seriously it's my embryo and I've been storing it for over five years. What now?

Now you should see me at Shady Grove!  It is no longer my husband and I walking into the center happy, eager, anticipating getting pregnant like we were in 2008.  Now it's me walking into (this is if I'm successful finding an ample parking place for my mini van!) SG's offices by my lonesome and hoping I've stopped OVULATING!  I'm sitting there watching the Today Show, waiting for my name to be called and hoping they can draw the blood they need out of my tiny veins to assess my hormone levels.  I then wait for the sonogram and it's out to the front desk.  I'm sad to say I see so many broken faces there. 

UPDATE
I have not stopped ovulating.  I found out Friday of this week with one week left to go to train for my 10 mile race with the Striders, who by the way kicked some serious tail on the run this morning.  I sluggishly started my training after I inhaled this delicious pink sprinkled DUNKIN DONUT!!  My reward for ovulating. Lucky.

Thanks Pinterest!

We'll friends, I am now waiting to start another treatment cycle where I'll get to know Lupron again.  I can handle the needle, it's the side affects that torture.

I was going to document my fertility experience.  I know people, couples do.  They Vblog according to my stepdaughter.  I don't think I'll go there.  Do you really want to see me self inject?  Watch Cops, it'll be more exciting than watching me try to figure out how to extract 20 iu's of Lupron into a tiny needle!

I'm not infertile. I don't have fibroids.  I went through fertility for other private reasons.  It was not to have twins either. If you'd like to email me personally I'd be happy to discuss it. 

For all the woman whom I've met and interacted with these last months and years, I commend you for your bravery and for your honest travels in trying to grow your family. Your brave, your real and Presidential style strong. Thank you for praying for me and wishing me the best also. I'm with you.

A big thanks to Dr. Mottla and Dr. Buckson and to Dr. Sweeny for taking good care of my high risk factors and for keeping me calm while I was pregnant with the girls. I'll cherish that experience forever.

It's not Shady Grove's problem that I haven't been successful this time around.  I'm 42 now.  I was 35 going through all of this before I got pregnant with my girls.  Many thousands of dollars later and I feel like that should be addressed because the stress of the financials alone is enough to pull your hair out, but the age factor does put the added stress on. 

I wish everyone health and success in their fertility journey and enjoy those pink donuts!  The next blog will be how happy life is, now that your kiddies are back in school!  I know I was happy to have my girls at home for the summer but glad that school will ground them in structure and social activity! 

 

Three Hair Masks for Over Stressed Summer Hair

Use once a week, 'doubles' hair growth

I've got three top notch hair remedies and all three come from good sources.  On a recent trip to New York, my husband and I had the chance to sit down and chat with a woman who underwent a year long transformation to loose weight and get healthy before her and her husband decided to have children.  I asked her what her secret was for long, beautiful, shiny hair and this mask is what she told me she used.  She swore by it and all natural biotin and Shea Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner! 

I think you'll love these remedies and you and I will both see longer healther hair.  Bye Bye Summer, Hello Fall Healthy Hair!

Second Hair Mask
eggs
Olive Oil (tbsp.)
Conconut Oil (tbsp.)

Use once per week or every other week.
*I use Dr. Bronner's Magic All-One Fair Trade & Organic Coconut oil

Great for the skin and eating!

The Third Mask
1 ripe Avacado
2 Tbsp plain yogurt (any type)
2 tsp pure honey

1. Blend ingredients in a shallow bowl to make a smooth paste.
2. Massage mixture into damp hair and then cover with a shower cap or old cotton towel.
3. Let mixture soak into hair for 20 minutes, then rinse and shampoo.

The yogurt has lactic acid which gently cleanses the hair and the avocado-honey mixture is rich in oils and the avacados restore shine and moisture.  Use weekly to repair damage caused by sun, chlorine, and saltwater. 

Your hair will say thank you! 

A Must-See film, "Do You Believe?"

I'm not much for films that make me cry.  Why?  It's not really important-this film proved that I'm a person whose up for crying now and I'm ready to take my faith to the next level.

The movie: 12 lives intersecting. One path. How are all of these people going to meet one another in this life?  The ultimate question begs to be answered "What do you believe" and what journey are you on now, what challenges do you face and what are you going to do about it; how all of these folks' lives intertwine will have you asking the question, Why Didn't I Believe Sooner?" 

Because I've worked on movies, I almost always have a negative view point on how they're going to turn out.  It's not the way movies use to be made-with an unnerving way to make you feel something monumental (good actors a must here). You had a goal in watching the film-to be floored; to be amazed or in awe or leave the cinema saying "that was awesome!'

The films of yesteryear like "On Golden Pond" and "The Sound of Music" moved me like no other films would and that's uniquely how I want to feel when I watch a movie. The acting is great, the writing is solid, the film moves and shakes you in a way to garner your incestuous response and you ride along, waiting to see how the characters will do.  Will they make it?  Will they win or lose?  I'm always rooting for the honest characters to win.  I love a happy ending.  Don't we all and yet why don't we want that for ourselves?

Cut to a beginning scene in "Do You Believe?": Hospital Emergency Room
When a struggling homeless single mother and her only daughter are waiting to be seen in an emergency room and the man sitting next to them starts innocent conversation with the young girl, it's not long before the viewer of the film jumps on board. What is his intention?  How will a mother who is so obviously struggling in her own beliefs about how she got to where she is contend with this grow man approaching her young sick daughter?  Is it innocent?  Does she trust him?  What will the outcome be? 

We have become a cynical world.  We don't trust.  I see it all the time everywhere I go.  Where is our strength?  Why do we live for validation from others?  Where do our belief systems and values come from? 

The film "Do you Believe?" takes you to 12 unique stories and how these people and their unique lives ultimately come together.  It is amazing people.  In our own lives, their stories are unfolding all around us but what are we doing about it?

Cut to My Miracle: I was unsure I would ever become a parent.  I lost two babies.  Horrible.  In 2009 when my twin daughters were born on my fathers birthday just before the stroke of midnight, I knew it was GOD.  Everything that happened that night was through prayers and through faith and love.  I felt blessings at my ripe age of 36.  Peace. All the events and people leading up to that night were no mistake.  No laughing matter.  I was losing blood rapidly.  I thank GOD for the doctors and my family and friends who prayed for me.  I stayed the course.  The girls are healthy and happy and almost six years old! 

I know this is a long blog but I want to thank these people specifically for inspiring a fire of faith in me:  Stephanie Styger-Smith and Stacie Lanier Cratty at Towson University.  To Dina Hutchinson Clark at Kent Island United Methodist Church for being my shepherd. 

I'd like to pay my respects and thank them for much needed prayers during a "finding myself phase" as they are up in heaven now; to Jackie and Keith Davis of Kent Island for their grounded faith and for the fervent prayers.  I miss you two and know you are watching over us all. 

To Weems Creek Baptist Church of Annapolis. The spirit is there.  How awesome to walk into a church and feel joy.  Let it be! 

Lastly to my immensely strong man of faith All-Star Husband Patrick who never gave up on me and believed in me from the very beginning.  Patrick not only had the courage to tell me I was daring to go down the wrong road, he stood up for his beliefs and challenged me in mine, reminding me of who I was and who I wanted to be.  I will never look back and I'm grateful for his strength and perseverance during a most difficult time in our lives.  Our marriage is solidly growing in faith and I'm glad we are becoming witnesses for Christ's love. 

What Do You Believe?  Are you on cruise control in your own life?  Are you bitter?  I'm praying for you and that perfect peace that keeps you smiling sincerely.  It's takes some courage but trust me it's worth it. 

Adding pops of "Red' Infuse a Home with Happy

Pops of Red infuse a room with Happy!  (Pinterest)

I never loved red but now fresh and back on the scene is the color red.  Previously loved it. Decorated my home with red iron roosters, table linens, wall art and then I went to neutrals. Put all the delicious red items in the basement.  Bye bye red.

Cut to current.  I love red now.  It's back.  Red lipstick. Love.  That's what it is.  It brings color to a space in small doses for me.  I found the bench below in my hometown of Annapolis.  I had been dreaming of a foyer bench with some grit.  I didn't want Pottery Barn.  Too predictable.  I wanted something that spoke to me in shades of red.  I called the store I mentioned and asked them if they had any benches (this was after I visualized it being there!) and they said, "yes come on over we have one outside waiting for you." 

Incredulous, I decided to ride over straight off while my precocious little girls were at preschool.  I saw the bench in question, called my husband and asked him what he thought and then I happily bought it.  The bench somewhat reminded me of one in my elementary school nurses office.  Although dated with a few scruff marks in fair blue, the bench was sold and in my care.  I promised to take care of it and keep it in our family's home wherever we end up.

The bench that reminds me of Edgewater Elementary School

It brings life to my foyer.  It's wear the kids baskets of shoes and sun essentials are stored for now.  I love this space.  The bench might scream "I need a blanket!" for the Fall but for now we're comfortable.  I love it and recently I went out on a limb (remember I'm a neutral girl) and bought a red colored candle in juicy mango.  Oh what an adventurer I am!!!! 

Happy Friday Friends.  Do one thing Everyday that Makes YOU happy. 

Fried Tofu in Olive Oil and Brewer's Crumbs-Delicious!

I normally don't take photos of food.  I'm not a pro photographer but I love when something comes out great and when I make this recipe in the house, people in my family come running.  I apologize in advance for the non-professional photo but I thought you'd love this recipe and without a photo it really isn't as much fun and did I mention how much energy this little dish offers, we'll you won't stop at just eating one slice!

I'm also grateful to a friend named Aaron of Bowie from the Maryland Rebirthing Academy for lending me this recipe.  The fried tofu deliciously complimented fresh bread from the Springmill Bread Company out of Bethesda, Maryland.  Local honey and fresh butter left out at room temperature completes the breakfast.

Fried Tofu with Brewer's Crumbs
1 container of Extra Firm Tofu
1 Bottle of Bragg's Liquid Aminos
1 TBS of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 Cup of Brewster's Yeast Bread Crumbs

Pour some of your favorite olive oil in your favorite saute pan and gradually hit up the stove.  Next, I drain the tofu's liquid and then wipe the tofu down with a paper towel.  I then slice the tofu, marinate each slice in one large bowl and next dredge the tofu slice in the Brewer's Crumbs.  It side should be thoroughly coated.  Sometimes I even add some ground flax seed into the crumb mix just for the extra fiber and omega 6's.  (Bob's Redmill Natural Foods)

Fry a couple of minutes on each side. This week my husband and I served our tofu dish with fresh tomatoes from our garden and fresh mozzarella from our favorite local grocer, Graul's Local Food Market, Annapolis, Maryland.  Graul's is famous for it's cole slaw and fried chicken but it's much more than that, it's where the locals shop for that small town feel!  We love Graul's!  Enjoy the fried tofu and let me know what you think!

www.graulsmarket.com

Building our Dream Home

Lately my husband and I have been looking for land to build the dream home.  Have you done this?  This is a silly task I think.....

You ride around looking in neighborhoods you like and you walk the lots.  You picture your home, you picture the backyard, the pool, the memories. Wait.  Stop, I do this.  He looks at the price, how big or small the lot is.  Does it slope downward?  What are the schools like and so forth.  Me, I dream of the house................

Thus we have found ourselves debating.  I like to tell him about our future Christmas gatherings and summers by the pool.  He is over me talking about this and all my other future plans.  Don't get me wrong I have a great husband and I like to tell everyone about him but he and I both have different ideas of a dream home.  I think he'll go with my dream plan but on a much smaller scale!

Step One: find your special home state. We love Virginia. Leesburg and Charlottesville are unique possibilities. Find activities your family will love there and more importantly find out if you can move there!  Your job, his. Work from home.....

Step Two: do you have plans in mind? A floor plan you love?  I do. Anything that reminds me of the Hamptons and cedar shake siding-lots of windows bringing in natural light. Porches-lots of porches too. Front, back. Everywhere. Flowers everywhere.

Step Three: Build. If you have a builder you love, an architect that speaks to you, use them. Utilize Pinterest, print photos of floor plans and photos of kitchens you love. The builder you use will love your input and if he's the right builder he'll grab inspiration from your passion!!

Step Four: stay involved. An active homeowner keeps abreast of any and all changes and additions/subtractions. I've actively worked with a custom home builder and one thing I've learned is it's your home.....make it forever personal. Built in bookshelves, exposed timbers, Italian marble. Love every nook and cranny of the building process.

Happy Sweet Life.  Back to the pool and enjoying summer with my kids.  Don't forget SPF 100 (they do make it!!!!).  Next blog a yummy recipe for keeping sun drenched hair happy and growing!

Paris on a Birthday Budget!

At the Hilton Paris Charles De Gaulle Airport

This is not a long list of who's and what not's but it is a brief list of where I went on my 40th birthday in July of 2013.  I cannot tell you how amazing Paris was or is, you'll just have to see for yourself.  Just go!  You won't regret it.  But leave the kids at home.  Fly coach.  For my birthday and I am charming, I did receive champagne.  It was lovely and a hot towel.  The French know how to have a celebration.  I loved it.  Did I already say that?

My Favorites,

The Hilton Charles De Gaulle Airport
In July yes it will cost more but if you have the Hilton Honors Plan, just know this those points matter in Europe.  When we arrived a half day early before check in, we slept in the managers lounge and they upgraded us to a Penthouse Suite!  (my husband always asks for an upgrade if they have one!)

Did I mention this hotel is situated at the entrance of the train station which can take you to most tourists attractions in Paris.  It is and with my husband, my brother and sister in law, we put our minds together and figured out the train and how to get around.  The conceriege at the hotel was most helpful and because this wasn't a super busy hotel, we had his full attention!

http://www3.hilton.com/en/hotels/france/hilton-paris-charles-de-gaulle-airport-CDGHITW/index.html?WT.mc_id=zELWAPN0EU1WW2PSH3Search4DGGeneric&WT.srch=1&utm_source=Bing&utm_medium=ppc&utm_campaign=paidsearch

Les Vedettes du Pont-Neuf
This tour I booked in advance for the 2nd day of our trip.  We had no idea how to get around for the most part so getting up early was essential.  Booking in advance saved me some $$'s and I was happy to book all four of us.  We decided we would share in our costs so opting for paying for this tour was a delight!  The tour was breathtaking.  I loved every minute of it and sharing it with my brother Jay and sister in law Debbie was a bonus.  It was romantic for all of us I'm sure and a memorable trip for my 40th.  By the way I did the day cruise because I didn't want to miss one landmark but I hear the night cruise is also a better way to see the sights along the Seine River.  Happiness.  The weather also cooperated thank goodness.

http://vedettesdupontneuf.com/home/

Here is my play by play on favorite yummies (on a budget of course!)

Firmine, 38 Avenue de Suffren 75015
We ordered the steak and frites and it was all we needed and we split a bottle of white wine (it can be done!)  We loved the ice bags they use to keep the wine cold!  Fun atmosphere!
 

 

Café Blanc
10 rue Croix des Petits Champs-75001
The owner of this place had all the charisma of a super hero!  He was so happy to have us in his restaurant.  Gladly, we all hurried up and ordered after a long day of hiking through the city.  My husband ordered the Texas burger and all other comments about the quality and taste of food ordered were perfection.  Great value, great service.  Visit this eclectic joint!  Well worth it!

The chicken salad with apples and walnuts.  Yum!

La Creperie Saint Honore
24 rue du Pont Neuf
Here we all split a bread and cheeses plate right off the du Pont Neuf cruise.  It was a perfect compliment to a mid afternoon amid sight seeing!  Wine served room temperature, not my favorite though, otherwise a perfect spot for people watching!

Le Grand Colbert
2 rue Vivienne, 75002
Although not inexpensive, this restaurant was bliss.  I heard about it from the film "Something's Gotta Give" starring Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson.  She made the roasted chicken sound like "melt in your mouth" perfection so of course that was my menu choice.  It had all the characteristics of what a French restaurant should like and sound like.  Waiters speaking in French and dressed in top form, crisp table linens, dim lighting.  Perfection.  Our table guests started out quiet but after wine and delicious food, we were hard pressed to leave!  The roasted chicken would be fare for two but since it was my 40th birthday, I savored it all for myself!  I apologize to my sister in law Debbie for not going hog wild for the sauteed frog legs.  Our next trip to Paris Debbie..............

Crème Brulee at Le Grand Colbert

 

Lastly, Hotel Plaza Athenee
25 Avenue Montaigne 75008
Here we only decided to try desserts as an afternoon delight and it was!  Although I did not partake in dessert, the standard olives and almonds would suffice.  The hotel is famous for it's views of the Eiffel Tower.  It's floral decadence is evident everywhere!!!  For someone who lusts after flowers, I was definitely in my happy place here!

 

Husband's Dessert-pretty right?

 

There is so much more to report on Paris and if I could I would take all day and this entire blog to do so.  As parents and spouses, you need to get away every once in a while.  It certainly doesn't have to be Paris, it can be somewhere close, a day trip to Virginia wine country for example.  It's hard to get away I know sometimes it is.  We Skyped our daughters which I'm not sure made it easier or just harder to be away from them.  Either way it went by in a Paris time frame (slower than US casual dining) and before we knew it, we were back in the arms of our girls and it was fantastic!

Happiness
 

By the way if your going to Paris anytime soon and you crave weight loss and a thinner figure, please wait.  The culinary delights are too enticing even for someone like me who suffers from tummy troubles!!   Au revoir!