The Sweetly Decorated Life: Facing Age and Growing Old Gracefully-is that Poss...

The Sweetly Decorated Life: Facing Age and Growing Old Gracefully-is that Poss...: Appreciating what you've become.  With Soph I think it would be unfair to say that most celebrities or any woman out there in the pu...

Facing Age and Growing Old Gracefully-is that Possible?!

Appreciating what you've become.  With Soph

I think it would be unfair to say that most celebrities or any woman out there in the public eye look amazing when they wake up (if you do, congratulations!).  Or let's take it one step further, how many of us wake up in the morning and say Wow, what happened?  Where did the years go?  How did I get so much sun damage?  Why didn't I wear more sunscreen?  Or maybe just maybe I should of listened to my mother when she said, never get a tattoo! 

Life is about learning and experiencing things on your own timetable, sometimes we shouldn't, sometimes we should. You know what I'm talking about.  My husband's been at work in Philly, you know where his job is and the affairs of recent have made it all the more hard to be away from him...........

That's where this photo comes in.  My daughter who is all about rising and shining grabbed my IPhone which she does ever so gracefully and we snapped this selfie for my husband, her Daddy.  We love him so much and we've really missed him more than we can confess!  Ten years ago I would of never even thought of doing this...........not just because it wasn't available but because I was so self focused and truly unaware of how the decisions we make today affect the ones in the future.  It was all about me.

I still sunbath but I do it with SPF 70.  Does that make sense?  I love the sun.  I always have.  Mom and I use to sweat it out in Hawaii with Aunt Joan and layer upon layer of suntan oil, we would laugh into the late hours, cocktails and all.  Now I'm attending appointments to get colonoscopy's, mammograms and get those pesky moles checked out for melanomas.  Fun huh?  I just laugh once I check in and that's where all those lines come from on my face.  My daughter Audrey recently pointed to my forehead and asked me "Mom do those hurt?"  By those, I think she meant, those lines, those wrinkles. We were rocking in our rocking chairs on the front porch of our farmhouse.  I looked at my husband, he smiled and I said they use to.  :)

Going back to before motherhood, I would cover up those pimples, wear the latest fads, and don the coolest shades.  This annoyed Mom and Joan I think.  Today it just doesn't seem to matter.  This week admittedly I did attend an appointment to get my spider veins sucked out of my legs.  This one I won't let go.  Fun.

If I do nothing at all, I will continue to over moisturize, take long walks with my dog Belle, and love my family with all my heart.  It may not always be right but I will give it my best because what other choice do we have?  Everything else just hurts so let it be and own your SELFIE lady!!!! 

The Sweetly Decorated Life: Scar Tissue in the Uterus-A Woman's Quest for Baby...

The Sweetly Decorated Life: Scar Tissue in the Uterus-A Woman's Quest for Baby...: Before I left for Florida for the Comcast President's Club trip, I had one of the last exams of my uterus.  They were re checking the li...

Scar Tissue in the Uterus-A Woman's Quest for Baby! What you might not know.

Before I left for Florida for the Comcast President's Club trip, I had one of the last exams of my uterus.  They were re checking the lining.  Two weeks prior they found something.  They weren't sure.  It could be scar tissue from the c section.  They weren't sure.  They wanted me to wait for my period and schedule my next HSG; that's the X ray test that examines the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the surrounding area. 

I wasn't thrilled but the new doctor at Shady Grove reassured me that it could be just build up from my lining and that my body will shed it.  Okay.  I bet that's what it is. 

I waited two weeks.  The uterine lining check appointment.  I was brought in by my previous fertility doctor (into the big office, uh-oh this is not good news), the one I trusted and saw for two years before the birth of my daughters, and told that I had such severe scar tissue that it would be dangerous to carry a child.  He drew some diagram of what it looked like.  He tried to show me and my husband what it looked like on 3 D sonogram images.  I was dumbfounded.

He said he rarely sees scar tissue of that magnitude in his office.  He described it like a ditch. He asked me if I had had an emergency c section.  Yep I did.  Twins.  Couldn't get one baby out.  Healing took forever.  The scar hurts sometimes.  Wow.  Are you kidding?  I have one day 6 blastocyst left.  I would love a son. A boy. Oh gosh. What now?

I consulted my OB, a lovely human being.  She delivered my daughters.  She has said in her practice she has only seen rare cases of scar tissue that would prohibit another c section.  A vaginal birth could cause hemorrhaging and possible dramatic consequences.  The baby and mother.  Can't talk about it.  I'm trying to not overthink all of this.

I want to say something to the Mom's out there.  You are simply amazing for all that you do-whether you've given birth, adopted or both or fostered or all three, you have strength beyond what you think is possible.  Congratulations on being the FANTASTIC YOU THAT YOU ARE. 

Thank you also to my doctors who know how much I care about family.  I go in near the end of the month for an HSG.  If the fluid leaks out, it's a NO.  If it stays in, we could be in good shape.  They say FDA rules will not allow me to have a surrogate carry our embryo.  I'm looking into that.

Whatever the outcome, I'm grateful for my girls and love spending time with them, whenever I can! 

The Sweetly Decorated Life: Being Colorblind, a Beautiful Gift

The Sweetly Decorated Life: Being Colorblind, a Beautiful Gift: Happy in Paris-a stranger and new friend from Haiti  When I think about race relations and where we stand today, the only thing I ...

Being Colorblind, a Beautiful Gift

Happy in Paris-a stranger and new friend from Haiti



When I think about race relations and where we stand today, the only thing I can conclude is what happened so very long ago.  I go back in history and then I get it.  It's tough I know.  How can any one of us evolve if we don't leave the past behind us?  I can understand those feelings too.  I'm going through a tough situation with a family member right now and can't tell you how difficult it is even in your own home, when people just don't get along or can make peace, never mind the pain and hurt of a history gone bad.

Bad decisions, bad choices affect us all.  It is our kindness that will be remembered; our heroic choices that set and keep us free. 

If my stories of how People of Color saved my life affect you, please share your positive stories with me.  It's a blessing when we share insightful and positive news.


Cynthia, Edgewater Elementary, Edgewater, Maryland
In 1984, long ago, I was at the start of running wild for what is undoubtedly a great time on the playground, remember it?  The innocence. It's called recess.  A young African American girl, my classmate, Cynthia (I wish I remembered her last name because I would love to know what she is doing with her life now)..................rushed to my side.

Cynthia saw that I had been badly hurt.  I ran onto that playground and ran smack into another youngster.  My nose was badly broken to one side of my face and the other youngster, the other elementary school goer, we'll he walked away with a cracked head and several stitches.

Cynthia, had worn a white eyelet cardigan set and her hair was in pigtail braids and she had the whitest teeth and the darkest smoothest skin.  She was an angel. That beautiful sunny day she scooped me up into her arms, when no one else would or did and carried me to the nurse's office.  There I laid with her on that dark red squishy bench in the nurses office until my mother was called. Cynthia stayed with me and held my hand until Mom arrived. Her hands were smooth.

That was it for me.  I was forever in her graces.  It didn't matter what color I was.  I was in need and she could and did help me.  Her beautiful eyelet white cardigan awash in my blood; no matter. She did what came so beautifully natural to her; helping another student in need. She was and still is my HERO.  I'm so grateful she had the courage that day to do what she did.

Dr. Buckson, Annapolis, Maryland
In 2007 I underwent in vitro fertilization to start the process of having children.  For reasons I won't discuss here right now, I proceeded further, got pregnant straight off (blessed) and organized my first obstetrics appointment for a sonogram.  I was excited and very nervous and rightfully so, the doctor proceeded to show the baby's arms, legs and then NO HEARTBEAT.  He wasn't the most sensitive when he shared the news.  It was awful. My fist miscarriage and heartache.  I found another doctor and thank GOD I did because she found the silent reason I was miscarrying and saved more than myself, she saved my daughters too.

Delivery Smiles, Hope and Saving Lives

In November 2009 my girls were ready to bless the world.  In the delivery room with an unexpected  C-section, I began to hemorrhage and unbeknownst to me but keenly aware was my husband of how rapidly I was loosing blood and so of course was Dr. Buckson. She quickly assessed the situation, got the babies out and got me much needed blood.  Some of our everyday heroes go without mention, but today and always I will forever be in Dr. Buckson's graces.  She gave me the ultimate gift of life: my twin daughters and my life back and for that I am truly grateful. 

Dr. Buckson, a beautiful woman did not and does not see me as different or white or black or purple but as a human being, a mother, a wife, a person who needed her help.  This is how I see her:  She is strong. She is my hero. She is a woman warrior.

Brian Ferguson, Severna Park, Maryland
One beautiful sunny day in September of 2000 after a delicious meal at our favorite local diner, I was in route to take my dear friend Brian home. An avid personal trainer and friend to many in the area, Brian has been more than a hero to many in need.  That afternoon I wasn't prepared for what was about to happen. A semi tractor trailer rapidly derailed my car on Rt. 2 near Baltimore and Brian, my passenger, took control of my little Honda Civic and spun my car off of the front end of this massive truck.

After we landed safely in the middle of a grassy median section, Brian with a smile he has become known for, asked me if I was okay.  I was incredulous, albeit shocked that neither one of us came out of that accident with more than a scratch.  I was admitted to the hospital in gratitude for my special friend and another beautiful person of color who came to my rescue................Brian. This is how I see him. Strong.  Wise. A Hero who wants no credit. Peaceful.

A Smiling Hero

I would never say I'm lucky in life.  I'm blessed.  Those days where I was saved I count my blessings and think of life in the simplest of terms.  We are only supposed to live with our whole hearts; not with bitterness or regret, anger or tears but to go out and make something out of our lives, despite some of the most harrowing circumstances.

My Father's closest friends were beautiful people of color and that's how I was fortunate enough to be raised.  To see the world through open lenses.  The weeks in Baltimore 2015 will be forever cemented in Charm City's history but I hope this one critical principal stays with the people of the world and this sounds cliche but living in peace and love is the only answer.  Reminding ourselves of the smallest blessings and moving forward with grace.  I plan on taking my girls to say hello to Brian again and visit Dr. Buckson often in her Annapolis office.  Cynthia wherever you are, thank you!!!