The Perils of Fertility; injections, FET's, and Waiting

I took this photo on Friday when I arrived for my blood work and ultrasound on Day 9 of Lupron.  Does anyone out there know what Lupron is?  An update: I've been taking fertility drugs since May and my body has gone through the ringer.

Definition of Lupron:
Lupron (leuprolide) overstimulates the body's own production of certain hormones, which causes that production to shut down temporarily. Leuprolide reduces the amount of testosterone in men or estrogen in women.

Possible Side Effects While Using This Medicine

Call your doctor right away if you notice any of these side effects:

• Allergic reaction: Itching or hives, swelling in your face or hands, swelling or tingling in your mouth or throat, chest tightness, trouble breathing
• Change in how much or how often you urinate
• Depression or severe moodiness or emotional problems
• Fast, pounding, or uneven heart beat
• Heavy vaginal bleeding
• Seizures
• Unusual or severe bone or back pain

If you notice these less serious side effects, talk with your doctor:

• Headache
• Hot flashes and sweating, warmth or redness in your face, neck, arms, or upper chest
• Loss of interest in sex, sexual problems
• Moodiness
• Pain, itching, burning, bruises, or swelling where the shot was given

If you notice other side effects that you think are caused by this medicine, tell your doctor.
Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088. (Courtesy of drugs.com interesting website by the way)

PMS is awful we all know that but being on Lupron to actually stop the ovulation process could actually be worse!  I started the whole process to have baby #3 in October of 2013 and I've been attending Shady Grove Fertility Center ever since in bursts and waves.  I've kept most of this quiet and to myself which has recently revealed a painful hell that I didn't think existed.  It's called SERIOUS HORMONES.

After telling me in May after starting an FET cycle, that's short for Frozen Embryo Transfer, I was told to stop because they found alarming scar tissue.  As soon as I could my fertility doctor wanted me to have an HSG x ray of my uterus which is an x ray of the whole uterus and it's friends like the ovaries, fallopian tubes.  Those x rays were sent to my doctors at Shady Grove where I then heard nothing.  I then made numerous phone calls to find out what SG's thoughts were on me moving forward with another treatment plan (they call it a protocol).

Meanwhile behind the scenes, my temperament went soaring.  If I saw a baby I naturally gush and hope I can have another but quietly would wonder "is this going to work, I've never done a frozen cycle".  I was also told when I found out about the "ditch" level of scar tissue I had that basically "I should be happy with my two girls and more or less move on."  Seriously it's my embryo and I've been storing it for over five years. What now?

Now you should see me at Shady Grove!  It is no longer my husband and I walking into the center happy, eager, anticipating getting pregnant like we were in 2008.  Now it's me walking into (this is if I'm successful finding an ample parking place for my mini van!) SG's offices by my lonesome and hoping I've stopped OVULATING!  I'm sitting there watching the Today Show, waiting for my name to be called and hoping they can draw the blood they need out of my tiny veins to assess my hormone levels.  I then wait for the sonogram and it's out to the front desk.  I'm sad to say I see so many broken faces there. 

UPDATE
I have not stopped ovulating.  I found out Friday of this week with one week left to go to train for my 10 mile race with the Striders, who by the way kicked some serious tail on the run this morning.  I sluggishly started my training after I inhaled this delicious pink sprinkled DUNKIN DONUT!!  My reward for ovulating. Lucky.

Thanks Pinterest!

We'll friends, I am now waiting to start another treatment cycle where I'll get to know Lupron again.  I can handle the needle, it's the side affects that torture.

I was going to document my fertility experience.  I know people, couples do.  They Vblog according to my stepdaughter.  I don't think I'll go there.  Do you really want to see me self inject?  Watch Cops, it'll be more exciting than watching me try to figure out how to extract 20 iu's of Lupron into a tiny needle!

I'm not infertile. I don't have fibroids.  I went through fertility for other private reasons.  It was not to have twins either. If you'd like to email me personally I'd be happy to discuss it. 

For all the woman whom I've met and interacted with these last months and years, I commend you for your bravery and for your honest travels in trying to grow your family. Your brave, your real and Presidential style strong. Thank you for praying for me and wishing me the best also. I'm with you.

A big thanks to Dr. Mottla and Dr. Buckson and to Dr. Sweeny for taking good care of my high risk factors and for keeping me calm while I was pregnant with the girls. I'll cherish that experience forever.

It's not Shady Grove's problem that I haven't been successful this time around.  I'm 42 now.  I was 35 going through all of this before I got pregnant with my girls.  Many thousands of dollars later and I feel like that should be addressed because the stress of the financials alone is enough to pull your hair out, but the age factor does put the added stress on. 

I wish everyone health and success in their fertility journey and enjoy those pink donuts!  The next blog will be how happy life is, now that your kiddies are back in school!  I know I was happy to have my girls at home for the summer but glad that school will ground them in structure and social activity!